Home to Stay
by BuffyAnne
Summary: AU. Set during the first campaign when Donna returns, after leaving for Wisconsin.
1. Chapter 1

I'm reposting this because it has been so long, since I have updated…There are some minor changes, but nothing that changes the story.

Please send feedback. The good, the bad or the ugly. Just let me know what you think. Also, I have an outline for this story, but I am also open to suggestions, so if you have any, please feel free!

**Title:** Home to Stay

**Author:** Nicole

**Rating:** Teen; for now I guess

**Category:** AU, Friendship, Romance, Angst

**Spoiler Info**: General tidbits, and some of the storylines from all seasons, but the story itself is AU

**Disclaimer:** They are not mine; they belong to Mr. Sorkin and the rich people at Warner Bros. I'm just borrowing them.

**Feedback:** Yes please, any and all would be appreciated

**AN:** This is AU, taking place after Donna comes back to the first campaign after leaving for that brief period of time.

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****Chapter 1**

_Mid-May, during the first campaign, 1 month after Donna returned from Wisconsin _

"NO!"

"Josh-"

"Donna, NO! I'm not going to accept this!"

"You have to Josh." She knew this was coming. She left the letter in his office during his meeting, but she didn't know he was going to find it so fast. She thought she would be gone before he found it with all the junk on his desk. Just like last time. She couldn't bring herself to face him then, and she wasn't ready to face him now. She was planning on facing him this time; she didn't want to lose him. She just needed some time first.

"Donna, in my office, now" His was so full of anger. She knew he was confused, and he deserved the truth but she didn't know how to tell him. She took a deep breath and followed him into his office, shutting the door behind her.

He was a little calmer now, and she took the time to really look at him as he sat down behind desk. He was exhausted of course. They all were. But there was something else, a deeper sadness that she hadn't really noticed before. When he finally spoke, it was so soft, she could barely hear him.

"What did I do?"

She was a little taken aback by the question. She knew he had a tendency to blame himself, but there was no reason for him to this time. "What?"

"You already left me once, and I get it, you had to go back to that loser to see if there was anything there to rebuild, but Donna I gave you another chance. You came back to me, and I can't remember ever being that happy. You can't go back to him again; he's only caused you pain. I don't know what I did to make you want to leave this time, but please you can't go back to him. You have so much potential; you'll waste it with him"

"Trust me Josh. I'm never going back to him."

She wasn't leaving because of him. Josh felt some relief with that. It was quickly replaced with a new sense of anger. How could she just leave again? He took a chance on her, two. The first time she let him down, but he thought he could still trust her. Apparently he was wrong, and now he wanted some answers.

"Then why the hell are you leaving me again?" This time he raised his voice at her, standing. He never really did that with her before but he was so hurt, he didn't know what to do. "I gave you another chance. A chance, by the way, you didn't really deserve. After leaving here the first time, I should have shown you the door when you came back, but I didn't. I trusted you!" He paused for a second, about ready to continue, when he saw her break down in front of him. All his anger instantly disappeared, and he was beside her in an instant.

"I don't want to leave Josh" She choked out through her sobs, "I have to."

"Why? Why do you have to leave?" His voice was softer now as he pulled her into a hug, trying to calm her down.

She pulled away slightly, but didn't pull out of his embrace. "I'm sorry Josh but I can't tell you. It just isn't possible for me to stay here with the campaign. I don't want to leave you Josh. You have been such a good friend to me, but I can't work here. I'm sorry. It wouldn't be good for the campaign"

"Donna, please you have to tell me," he quietly begged.

He saw her breaking down. She wanted to tell him but was currently waging a war with herself over how he couldn't find out yet. She didn't need him worrying about her. He had a campaign to focus on. An important one.

Josh couldn't take the silence. "Does this have anything to do with Dr. Freeride?"

She laughed a little at the name he gave to her ex, Michael. He gave her a soft smile. "Donna?"

"Yeah, technically it does."

"Donna, he doesn't deserve your time. Whatever he said to you, to make you want to leave me again, don't listen to him, Donna. I care about you, he doesn't."

"Josh I told you, I'm never going back to him, not after what he did."

Josh stopped for a moment. He knew they were getting off track but he couldn't help but wonder what he did to her, and if he needed to find this jerk and hurt him.

"What did he do to you, Donna?" His protective side was coming out. Donna loved how protective he was of his friends. He was such a great man; he shouldn't have to deal with her mistake.

"Remember, how I was on crutches when I came back."

"Yeah, you slipped on some ice, right?"

Donna looked away sheepishly. She hated that she had lied to him. Again, something else he didn't deserve. "Well, um…actually…well, you see…" She mumbled nervously.

"Donna. What happened?"

"I was in a car accident. It wasn't that bad, but I needed someone to come get me at the hospital. I called him and on his way to pick me up, he decided to stop at a bar and have a few drinks with his friends. I waited two hours before calling my mom to come get me. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. I hate that I let him talk me in to coming back; that I was stupid enough to give up my life for him. And most of all, I hate that I lied to you about why I left him again, but I couldn't tell you. I was afraid of what you would think of me." She looked down, trying to hide her tears.

Josh put his hand under her chin and lifted her face up to look her in the eyes. "I could never think anything bad about you. You are a wonderful person and you've been a great friend. You were there for me when my father died, and I honestly don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there keeping me together." That was true. After the short period of time he'd been without her, he realized how much he missed her, both professionally and personally.

"Don't you see Donna? You can't leave this job. I need you. I don't think I'd make it…" He paused fearing he'd almost revealed too much. "…to the election without you here."

Donna started to cry again. "I can't stay Josh. I can't."

"Why not?" This time his voice was gentle, but firm.

"I'm pregnant, Josh"

Pregnant? No, she couldn't be. He knew he must look like an idiot right now, but he couldn't really comprehend what she was telling him.

"Josh?"

He could hear the nervousness in her voice but couldn't bring himself to say anything. So, he pulled her into a strong hug.

She let out a new round of tears as he whispered in her ear. "How far, um, along are you?"

"About a month and a half, it happened at the beginning of April."

"You can't leave, Donna." She wanted to believe him. She wanted to stay and work with him.

"I don't know how it's going to work, Josh."

"We'll make it work. We'll figure it out, and it won't cause any problems with the campaign. You have to stay Donna. You have become my best friend in such a short amount of time and I couldn't picture not working with you anymore. I promise you can do this, and I'll be here to help."

She wanted him to be right, but her mind said it would end badly. At that moment; however, she didn't care. She needed a friend, and he was the only one she could trust. "Ok, I'll stay for now, but I'm not ready to tell anyone else, and you can't treat me any differently."

He gave her a full dimpled smile. "I won't tell anyone. That is all up to you. Can I ask you one question though?"

She looked at him waiting for him to ask.

"Have you told him?"

She knew he would ask eventually. "Yeah, and he wants nothing to do with it. He said he'll help out financially but that was all the contact he wanted. As selfish as it sounds, I'm glad he won't be around. He wouldn't be a good father."

"That doesn't sound selfish." He told her honestly. He knew Freeride had hurt her in many ways. He didn't know the specifics, but he knew she would tell him one day.

"Well, I better get back to work, as should you." She was trying to pull back into professional Donna. As much as she loved the tender moments her and Josh had every now and then, she needed to keep some space. They could be friends, but it couldn't be anything else. He was currently with Mandy, though she expected that was almost over, but she now had a baby coming. There could never be anything more between them.

As she was walking out the door, Josh spoke up, "If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for a beer."

She smiled at him, "If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights. Thanks for taking me back."

They looked at each other a few moments longer before Donna turned and went back to work.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Feedback?** Yes please, any and all would be appreciated!

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****Chapter 2**

_End of May/Beginning of June-Donna is 2 months pregnant_

_Donna's POV_

It's here. The day Josh has been dreading for a week. Mandy is meeting up with the campaign tonight and of course Josh and she are going out to "catch up." She's been in the West doing whatever it is she does. I don't really care enough about her to notice. Josh has been angry all week with almost everybody. He is dreading this. Other than the fact that it was blatantly obvious, my suspicions were confirmed when he told me the other day. See, I said he had been angry with everyone, everyone but me. In fact since my little confession last week he's been even nicer than usual. I don't think it's so much because I'm pregnant, but more about the fact that I let him know something extremely personal, that I trusted him enough to let him in.

We've been hanging out more the last two weeks. We've always hung out, but it seems like we're becoming more like friends and less like boss and assistant. We'll hang out in his hotel room or apartment, rent a movie and just talk about anything and everything, He's really opened up to me these two weeks and I know that is hard for him.

This is how I know he is dreading tonight. In one of our late-night discussions the subject of Mandy came up. He told me that he doesn't really know why he's with her anymore, that the only reason he hasn't broken up with her is because of the sex. Now I know he's a man, but I really didn't need to know that.

All they do when they are together is fight. They don't talk, they don't go out. She didn't even go with him to his father's funeral. She sent a brief, informal card. Not even a card. It was on ripped notebook paper. This didn't seem to bother him.

I know it's not my place, so I bit my tongue when he asked what I thought about her. Truth is I really dislike her. She is so wrong for him, and they don't seem to have any sort of connection beyond the sex. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves so much more, a woman who'll love him and be there for him on an emotional level as well. I…

"WILL SOMEONE GET ME THOSE DAMN NUMBERS?"

Well, apparently the prospect of sex tonight is doing nothing for his mood. He's been yelling even more today. It's been getting worse as the day wears on.

"Josh, I really do not think yelling is going to get you the numbers any faster. They're not ready yet." I tell him, trying to keep my voice calm and understanding. He looks at me for a second before breathing deeply.

"You're right. I know, sorry." He concedes.

"Josh!" And here she is. I look at Josh and he looks like he wants to die. I have a feeling this relationship is over.

Mandy makes her way toward him, completely ignoring me and walking into his office.

"Come on in." He mutters.

_Josh's POV_

I don't know why I'm still with her. Apparently, Donna doesn't either, if her silence on the subject is any indication.

"Hello Joshua." I hate the way she says my name, like she knows something I don't know and is gloating. Why am I with this woman again?

"Mandy."

"It's been awhile." Yeah, no kidding. Does she not realize I can read a calendar? I've been dreading this day for two weeks. I'm going to break up with her tonight. I have to do this; she makes me miserable. I'll just wait until after the sex, I am a man after all.

"So when were you going to tell me you've been screwing your secretary?" Or maybe not.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I'm mad now. I cannot believe she brought Donna into this relationship from hell. Donna has nothing to do with our downfall; this was coming long before Donna even showed up here in February. "You leave her out of this!"

"Well, I think if you're cheating on me, I have a right to know." Ok, this is going to end now.

"First of all Mandy, I'm not cheating on you. I don't cheat. Even though this has been over for months, I haven't even thought about sleeping with another woman. And second of all, this has nothing to do with Donna, and you will not bring her into this. She's my assistant and more importantly, my friend. I can trust her and she's there for me when I need her. That's a hell of a lot more than I can say for you."

I think I may have stepped over a line now because she looks like she has just been slapped.

"This is about your father's funeral isn't it? Josh I told you I couldn't just drop everything. I'm trying to get a man elected!"

"I never asked you to drop anything Mandy! All I needed was for you to talk to me, to listen. And I'm doing more to get Governor Bartlet elected than you." I don't even know what she has been doing with this campaign, but I don't let her know this. "I think it would be best if you just left Mandy. This is over, why drag it on any longer?"

She looks at me briefly before storming out of my office.

I take a few deep breaths. I feel much better now that this is over. We got kind of loud; I hope Donna didn't hear much of our fight. I don't want her feeling bad about being my friend. I poke my head out of my office, she's not at her desk and I don't see her in the area. She must have been running an errand for me. Good, at least she didn't have to hear this.

Donna had made herself scarce once Mandy entered Josh's office. Everyone in the office knew to keep their distance when she came around. She took the opportunity to grab a bite to eat for dinner and make some copies for the staff. She was worried about Josh, but was trying hard to not think about it. That's what she was doing when Josh found her, staring intensely at the copier.

"Is the copier trying to tell you something Donna?" Donna jumped at his voice.

"Josh! You scared me. You really shouldn't sneak up on people."

"I'll remember that for next time." He promised.

"No you won't. You'll forget as soon as this conversation is over."

"You're right. I will." He laughed.

She took the lull in the conversation to observe him. He seemed really good. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He must have broken up with Mandy. Either that or he had really quick sex in his office.

"So it's over, for good this time." Donna looked at him, not sure where to take this conversation.

"I'm sorry?" She offered hesitantly.

"No you're not," He smiled, "and neither am I. It's been over for a long time. I'm glad that I finally broke free."

"Me too. She wasn't good for you. You're a great guy. You deserve so much more."

"Thanks." He said softly. They looked at each other for a minute, beginning to see something between them, but before it could get any deeper, Donna snapped them out of it.

"So, did you need something? I was just doing some copying." She stated, effectively changing the subject.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanted to cut out of here early, maybe go catch a movie, get some dinner?"

"Yeah, that's cool. I already ate something, but you know me, I can always eat."

He smiled at her. "Okay, I'll just let Leo know we're heading out for the night. Finish up here and I'll meet you back at my office." With that he turned and headed down the hall.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

Please send feedback!

I'm not a med student nor do I really know anything about medicine. I did a little research, but things might not be entirely accurate in the next few chapters. I'm taking some liberties with this.

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Chapter 3 **

_Mid-July-Donna is 3 and a half months pregnant_

It had been a month and a half since Josh broke up with Mandy and the campaign was in full swing. The last month had been spent in virtually a different city every day and a different hotel room every night. While she was trying to take care of herself and make sure she ate well everyday, it was easier said than done. Donna was just glad that she was getting over all the morning sickness.

She and Josh hadn't been able to spend a night just hanging out in about three weeks because everything was so hectic. If she let herself admit it, she missed it. She wished she had been able to talk to him lately. She could confide in him. She liked that he asked about how she was feeling, about how things were with the baby. She liked their friendship, loved it really. She wished she could tell him about the changes in the last couple weeks. She was excited and scared all at the same time. She was starting to notice the new roundness of her belly and knew she would have to let the others know soon. They were looking at her a little differently, CJ especially. She knew they would figure it out soon, but she was afraid of their reactions.

Today however started out differently than the last few had. Donna woke up this morning with a strange feeling in her stomach and she felt more tired than she had been feeling. Just the thought of eating something made her queasy. She hadn't had any morning sickness in a few days but today was different. She spent about an hour in the bathroom throwing up. She knew she was running late. The campaign would be leaving for the next stop soon, although she still had a half an hour before Josh would be expecting her. Josh. She forgot to call him this morning, she always called him. It was one of the things she looked forward to everyday.

"Donna?" Sam called as he knocked on her door. "Donna? Have you seen Josh?"

Donna could hear him calling her, but she couldn't bring herself to get off of the cool bathroom tile or to call back to him.

"Donna? Are you in there?" After a couple of minutes Sam left, looking for Josh. He went back downstairs, where people were beginning to gather. That's where he saw Josh, leaning against a column in the lobby talking to CJ and Toby.

"Josh? There you are. I went by your room, and then Donna's. But you weren't there. I didn't see you earlier. Where's Donna? Is she getting us some breakfast?" With the last comment CJ slapped Sam in the back of the head.

"Sam, if you want breakfast, go and get it yourself. Donna is not here to fetch you food."

"Sorry, CJ."

"I haven't seen her this morning. She wasn't in her room?" Josh asked, a little concerned. She hadn't called him this morning and even though she always did, Josh assumed she slept in a little later. She had been working hard the last few days; he thought she was just sleeping in. But if Sam didn't get a response…He started to scold himself. He should have been more concerned. She's pregnant, and he should be paying more attention to her. Josh started to back away from the group, excusing himself to go check on her, but the look on his face didn't go unnoticed.

"Josh?" CJ asked quietly. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." He tried to act normal, "I'm sure she's just overslept. I'll just go get her."

CJ watched as he ran up the stairs, concerned, but she decided not to dwell on it. If something was wrong, Donna would tell her. They had become friends in the last month, since she returned from Wisconsin.

Josh got to Donna's room quickly, knocking loudly, in case she was sleeping.

"Donna! Are you okay?"

After a second of no response, Josh got out his copy of her key, letting himself in after a few tries. Bursting in and taking a quick look around, he saw her in the bathroom trying to sit up.

"Donna?" Josh said as he quickly entered her bathroom, helping her up, keeping an arm around her waist.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The morning sickness was really bad this morning and I'm really tired. I'm sure it's nothing." She said as he led her to the bedroom.

He sat her on the bed, kneeling in front of her. She looked pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Josh silently cursed himself for making her work so hard.

"I thought you were past the morning sickness?"

"I did, too. Apparently, I'm not. I'll be fine. I'm already feeling better." She gave him a reassuring smile. "Let me just get dressed and I'll be downstairs in a few."

"Dress in something comfortable today. I want you to sleep while we're on the bus." He responded.

"Josh, I'm fine. It's-"

Josh cut her off. "Please Donna, just humor me today."

"Okay, thanks." He gave her a smile and went out into the hall, waiting for her to get ready.

_Josh's POV_

Once we got on the bus and in our normal seats, Donna was out like a light. She's next to me now curled up, with her head on my shoulder. She looks so peaceful. She must be so tired. I really need to stop working her so long and hard, she needs her rest.

"Josh?" I hear CJ whisper beside me. "Is she okay?" She asked indicating to Donna.

I hate not telling CJ the whole truth, but I made a promise to Donna and I won't ever break any promises I make to her. She's too important to me.

"Yeah, she's fine. Keeping up with me isn't easy." I say with a smirk.

"Well, do you think I could talk with you about something in the back?"

Can't she see Donna's currently sleeping on me? I don't want to wake her, but the look in her eyes tells me this is important. I slowly get up, placing Donna's head on the seat, so that she is lying down, curled up on her side, and then I follow CJ to the back.

"What's up, CJ?"

"Well, this isn't easy for me to ask you. It's important though. The way people perceive things can get in the way of the issues and what's important, and its-" She's acting so weird and she's starting to ramble, so I cut her off to keep her on topic.

"CJ, what is it? Just tell me."

She takes a deep breath, "What's going on with you and Donna?"

What? She's my friend, nothing's going on. I may care about her more than the other women I know in a way that I don't fully understand but… Damn, CJ just asked me something. "Where is this coming from, CJ?"

"Well, it's just that you are always hanging out, late at night in your hotel room, or at your apartment. She was curling up with you on the bus, and I think everybody heard Mandy's accusation when you guys broke up. It's just this isn't a good time to get involved. Wait until after the election." She said in a rush.

"Donna's my friend, CJ..."

"I know Josh, but maybe you should be more careful about when you are seen together."

"No, CJ. She's my friend and I'm not going to stop hanging out with her. You and I both know that nothing would be said if it was me and Sam, or me and you, or you and Sam or Toby. This is all because she's a pretty face, who hasn't completed her degree yet. Well, I'm sorry, but nothing is going on, and I'm not going to abandon our friendship. She's too imp…" I trailed off at the end. No reason to give more fuel to the fire CJ's starting.

"She's too what, Josh?" No. Of course CJ wouldn't leave it alone.

"She's too important to me," I say with a sigh. "She was there for me after my father and she is always taking care of me. She has given me her loyalty and friendship and I plan on doing everything I can to return that."

"But Josh-"

"No, CJ. This isn't up for discussion." With that I turn around and head by to my seat. After lifting Donna slightly, I slide into the seat letting her head rest in my lap, all while avoiding CJ's glare.

I try to get a little more work done, but there really is little point, it is starting to get dark, and I don't have anything to do that couldn't wait. I look down at Donna and realize I've been running my fingers through her hair. I know I should probably stop that, but I can't bring myself to. Her hair is very soft. Instead I'll just lean back and try to take a little nap.

After sleeping all day on the bus, they finally arrived back in Washington, so that they could work a few days in the Washington office. Donna went home with Josh, where they had planned on watching a movie. Donna fell back asleep soon and Josh carried her into the guest room so that she could sleep comfortably.

The morning sickness didn't appear the next morning, but Donna was still exhausted. Even after sleeping nearly 24 hours, she still had no energy. She knew however that Josh was starting to worry, so she was going to act as if everything was fine and go about work like it was a normal day.

Everything was fine until midday when there was a slight twinge in her stomach. That slight twinge quickly turned into sharp cramps that caused her to double over in pain. She knew something was wrong and she needed to get to Josh. He would know what to do.

She made her way over to his office, standing in the doorway,

"Josh, something's wrong."

"With the strategy outline? I didn't notice anything." He said, while reading the memo and not noticing Donna bent over in pain.

"No Josh, something's wrong." Her voice was more urgent this time, getting his attention.

"Donna, what are you talking a-" He looked up this time, confusion quickly replaced with concern. He rushed over to her, standing in the doorway, where she was leaning against it to keep herself up.

"Donna, what's going on?" Panic was evident in his voice as he put an arm around her to help keep her up.

"I don't know Josh. But it really hurts." She said through gritted teeth.

"It'll be okay, Donna. I'm going to get you some help." Josh quickly picked her up in his arms and quickly started carrying her out of the office, not caring who noticed.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**Feedback:** PLEASE! I love it…

I'm not a med student nor do I really know anything about medicine. I did a little research, but things might not be entirely accurate in the next few chapters. I'm taking some liberties with this.

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**Chapter 4**

People did, in fact, notice Josh rushing Donna out of the offices but Josh could care less. He failed to notice CJ and Sam watching them with a mixture of concern and apprehension. Sam was unsure about what was going on, but for CJ the pieces were falling into place.

She had noticed the small changes in Donna the last couple of months, the fatigue, the baggy clothes, the change in her diet. She also noticed Josh's attentiveness and protectiveness towards her. Silently she began fuming. How could they do this to her? They were in the middle of a presidential election and Josh had been stupid enough to get his new assistant pregnant. Her anger was quickly overshadowed, however, when CJ realized that something was wrong with Donna. Anger was replaced with concern and guilt. She would worry about Donna now and deal with the situation later.

She needed to call Josh to find out where they were going and follow, so that she could offer support to her friends. She turned to grab her phone and noticed Sam was already ahead of her, talking to Josh on his cell.

"So, you're on your way to GW?" He asked with a slight hint of panic.

"No, Josh, you have to stop for red lights! Nothing good will happen if you are both dead. You need--"

Sam was cut off however by Josh, who was so worried he wasn't listening to reason.

"Sam, I need to go. I'll call you when I know something." He hung up the phone, looking over at Donna, who was curled up on the seat, tears streaming down her face.

He reached over with one hand and smoothed back her hair and wiped the tears from her eyes. He then grabbed one of the hands clutching her abdomen and held onto her tightly.

"It'll be okay Donna. We're going to get you help."

When she spoke he could barely hear her. She spoke so softly, through her sobs, reminding him of a small child. "What if I'm not okay?"

He was struck by how at that instant he wanted nothing more than for everything to be okay, so that in six months he could hold Donna's child, this little person that would be just like her.

"Stop! Don't think like that. There is no reason to; everything is going to be fine." It had to be, he added silently. He didn't know what would happen if she wasn't okay. He didn't want to lose her and he knew that if something happened to the baby he would lose a part of her.

He concentrated on the road, speeding, running red lights, and basically breaking every traffic law known to man. The ride was taking so long, but eventually they arrived at GW. He didn't bother finding an actual space to park; he just picked the first open area he could find and jumped out of the car. He ran around to the passenger's side, lifting Donna out, and carrying her into the emergency room.

As soon as they entered the emergency room, a nurse came rushing to them with a wheelchair.

"What happened?" She asked as they settled Donna down on to the chair.

"She's in a lot of pain. Her stomach, something's wrong. She's pregnant." He said, almost incoherently.

The nurse grabbed a clipboard and handed it to Josh. "I need you to fill out as much of this information as you can, we'll get the rest later. I'm going to take her on back so we can take care of her."

She started to wheel Donna back, when Josh stopped her. "I want to go with her."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we need you to remain out here. I'll take you to the other waiting room after you fill out the forms."

When Donna heard that Josh couldn't come with her, she started crying harder. She was already scared; she wasn't sure she could get through this without him. "No please. Let him come with me. Please!"

When Josh heard the terror in her voice he knew he had to try again, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. "Please, let me go with her. It's my baby; she's my fiancée. Please just let me go with her."

The nurse looked at him sympathetically, but shook her head in the negative. "I'm sorry, sir, but the doctor is going to need all the space available to him. You will only be in the way."

Josh closed his eyes and nodded, knowing it was no use. He grabbed Donna's hand as the nurse pushed her away. "I'll be right here, Donnatella. You'll be okay." He watched as she was quickly moved down the hall and then sat down, trying to remember anything to help him fill out the forms.

Thirty minutes later, CJ and Sam arrived. When they asked about Donna they were told she was being treated and that her fiancée was in the private waiting room.

"Fiancée?" CJ and Sam practically screamed.

"There must be some mistake," Sam continued.

"No, I don't think so. He said that it was his baby and that she was his fiancée, but because of the severity of the situation we couldn't let him go with Ms. Moss."

CJ and Sam just stood there dazed, trying to process what they had just been told, when the nurse led them down the hall.

Josh was pacing, going crazy not knowing what was happening to Donna, when CJ and Sam entered the room. "You are stupider than I ever could have imagined, Josh!"

Josh, not surprisingly startled, turned around to see his friends glaring at him. "No, CJ, you have it wrong. Let me explain."

CJ said nothing, letting him continue. He figured Donna's secret was shot to hell anyways. He told CJ and Sam the truth, that the baby was Dr. Freeride's and how Donna wasn't ready to tell people. He also told then that he said what he said to the nurse in hopes that they would let him be with her. Just as Josh was finishing the story, the doctor entered the room.

"Mr. Lyman?" He asked.

"Yes? That's me. Is Donna okay? What's going on?"

The doctor regarded the two other people with Josh before hesitantly continuing. "It seems, Mr. Lyman that Donna was suffering from what we call a threatened miscarriage. What that means is that the body was literally threatening to miscarry the baby. However, the cervix had not yet opened so we were able to give her some drugs to try and stop the miscarriage. It seems to have worked, but we are going to keep her overnight for observation. She's been asking for you."

Josh let out a breath. "So, she's okay? The baby is fine?"

"For now, Mr. Lyman. Though we have stopped the miscarriage for now, it doesn't mean she is completely in the clear. This could cause complications later in her pregnancy. I suggested that she see her doctor as soon as possible and as frequently as possible, to keep an eye on everything."

Josh nodded as Sam patted his back and CJ spoke. "Why don't you go see her, Josh? I'm sure she's still scared."

Josh nodded again and followed the doctor down the hall to her room. He had to keep reminding himself that she was okay, the baby was okay, and he would personally see to it that it stayed that way. Just before entering the room, the doctor stopped and addressed Josh again.

"Mr. Lyman, she has expressed some concern over not being able to go back to work. I informed her that it would be fine. She doesn't need to stay in bed all day, but she can't afford to work the 20 hours she told me she currently does. I know what you are doing is important work, but she needs to keep working to a maximum of 10 hours, unless her regular doctor suggests otherwise."

"That won't be a problem." Josh responded promising himself to make sure she took proper care of herself. He nodded at the doctor, before disappearing into Donna's room.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

Here is the newest chapter. It's been a while, but I'm hoping to change that.

Please send feedback. The good, the bad, or the ugly. Just let me know what you think!

Also, I do have an outline for this story, but nothing is set in stone, so if you have suggestions, I would love to here them!

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**Chapter 5**

_Mid-August_

_Donna's POV_

I'm not sure I can take this anymore. Ever since my scare a month ago, Josh has become so protective it's almost suffocating. I know he was really scared when I had to go to the hospital; I was really scared too, but he's gone too far. I took the following week off and then I came back on a more limited basis. My doctor said I should be fine for an 8-10 hour work day as long as I sit down and rest throughout the day. Well, Josh has translated that to mean, no working more than six hours, and that I'm not to take anything to anyone, they are supposed to come to me.

Now I completely appreciate this side of Josh, in fact I love that he cares about me this much, but I'm not an invalid. I'm perfectly capable of deciding how much I can handle, but with him I don't even have a say. So, here I am, at my desk watching everyone move around me waiting for someone to bring me something to do. I don't even dare get up to get anything; Josh has developed some strange sense where he can tell the second I leave my chair. The worst part is he has stopped coming to me to talk about any of his problems. He would always come to me to talk; I miss our late night chats. I miss…

"Hey Donna, have you seen the file for…" That's Sam, as soon as he sees me he remembers Josh's decrees, "…ummm, never mind, I'll ask Ginger."

This is really all starting to get in the way of the campaign, maybe I just need to quit, I'm not much help anymore…

"Donna?" Speak of the devil.

"Yes, Josh?"

"I need you to book me a flight and hotel room in Boston; I need to meet with some of our reps in the offices there."

Okay, this is new. We haven't gone anywhere since last month; we've been working hard here getting everything together for the debates.

"Just you?" Okay, that sounded a little too desperate.

Josh looks up at me a little shocked. "Well, yeah. Donna, you can't go on anymore trips with us."

"What?! Why not?!"

"Donna, you heard what your doctor said."

Okay that is it! We are having this out right now. I get up, ignoring Josh's protests and walk into his makeshift office, waiting for him to follow. After a few moments he comes in and I slam the door behind him.

"I can't do this anymore Josh. I'm not some porcelain doll. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and I am pretty sure I'm able to fly to Boston for a meeting."

"Donna," he says with a sigh, "I'm not trying to treat you like a doll. I just want to look out for you."

"Well, if this is how things are going to be maybe I shouldn't be working here. I'm not any help; I'm just getting in the way."

"Donna, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you not letting me do anything. I don't complete one task on any given day because of all the restrictions you've imposed on me. Don't get me wrong; I like that you care about me, but this is my job and I need to be able to do it and you need to trust that I know how much I can do."

"Well you didn't do a good job of taking care of yourself before!" He yells.

"Excuse me?"

"You scared the shit out of me Donna. I don't want to go through that again."

"It's not your place to make that decision!"

We're in a huge fight now. I didn't mean for him to get this upset. I just wanted to talk to him, but if this is how it has to happen, then fine. I'm not going to live like a prisoner. "If you can't deal with this Josh, then I'm quitting."

"For how long this time? How long until you come crawling back again?"

_Josh's POV_

Oh my god. What did I just say? I didn't mean that. I don't know why that came out. Donna looks like she's been slapped. I step closer, to try and backtrack, explain myself, but she turns and runs out of my office.

"Donna, wait!" It's no use; she's not going to listen. Not that I blame her, I wouldn't stop for me either. God I'm such a prick.

I know she's the best judge of what her body can handle. It's just, god, I was so scared. I had no idea what was happening last month and all I could think about was that if anything happened, I'd lose my best friend and it'd be my entire fault. I thought I finally have the chance to take some control, to stop something bad happening to someone else who means so much to me. Maybe that's why I became so controlling.

I'll give it an hour and then I'll call her hotel room, maybe she'll let me explain. In the mean time, maybe I should get some of this work done. There has been so much more to do since I've stopped Donna from working so much.

Josh tried calling Donna several times but she never answered. He assumed it was just because she was still so upset.

Meanwhile, Donna took a long, leisurely walk around DC, thinking about everything that she and Josh had said to each other this afternoon and what it meant. It didn't make any sense to her. Yes, they were friends, but why would Josh care so much. Why was he so concerned? It was almost as if he…no, that wasn't it. It couldn't be.

She walked around for about three hours, ending up in front of his apartment. She had hoped he would be there but he wasn't. She used the key he had given her to go inside so that she could wait for him and talk to him calmly about her concerns. She turned on the TV while she was waiting and was struck by how tired she was. She lay down on the couch and quickly fell asleep.

It was well after midnight when Josh arrived home. He was so upset about what happened with Donna that he tried to distract himself with work. It didn't help though. As he opened the door, he saw Donna on the couch, illuminated by the glow from the TV. He breathed a sigh of relief that she was okay and that she apparently wanted to talk to him as much as he wanted to talk to her. The talking could wait until morning, no reason to wake her up.

Donna woke, however, when he turned off the TV.

"Josh?"

"Hey. Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"No, it's okay. I was waiting for you. What time is it?"

"A little after midnight."

She sat up quickly. "Why were you working so late?" She asked concerned.

He sat down next to her. "I was upset with how we left things. I was trying to figure it all out. I'm sorry I've been so controlling."

She smiled softly. "It's okay. I just don't understand why you are being like this. Josh, what happened wasn't your fault and you can't prevent anything further from happening by limiting everything I do. You have no control over fate."

Josh shrugged, not quite believing her.

"Josh, why do you feel like this was your fault?"

"I don't."

"Josh, you are not fooling me."

It took him a moment before he responded. "Did you know I had a sister?"

She smiled. "No you never told me that. What's her name?"

"Her name _was_ Joanie. She died a long time ago."

"Josh, I'm sorry. What happened?"

"She was babysitting for me and I wanted some popcorn. She and I had been fighting all night because she wanted to go to some concert, but our parents made her stay home to babysit. She was making me some popcorn and I was being my normal, bratty self and she got distracted and the popcorn caught on fire. I just ran out, didn't even realize that she wasn't behind me. She was trying to put it out." By now he had tears streaming down his face.

Donna scooted closer to Josh, putting her arms around him. "That wasn't your fault Josh. It was a tragic accident. You were only a little boy."

"I know that. Intellectually, I know that. It's just I still feel like I should have been able to do something to change things."

"Josh, honey, that wasn't you fault. You couldn't change it and you couldn't change what happened last month with me. But I got another chance, and I am taking better care of myself. You have to trust me to know what I can handle."

He looked up at her for a long moment. "Okay, I'll try and remember that."

She smiled at him. "Thank you." They looked at each other, moving closer, lips almost touching when a horn honked outside. Donna jumped back, while Josh sat still, processing what almost just happened.

"Well, it's late; I should get to the hotel."

"Stay here. It's too late for you to get a cab." Josh said as he held out his hand to her.

"Okay," she said as she took it, following him into the bedroom.

**TBC...**


	6. Chapter 6

It will be a couple of weeks before I can update this. I am studying abroad this next semester and I leave for Hong Kong Sunday, so I will be trying to adjust. Then I will get back to this. Promise!

Please send feedback and any ideas. The good, the bad, or the ugly. Just let me know what you think!

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**Chapter 6**

Josh woke the next morning a little before the alarm went off. He was surprised to see that he was tangled up with Donna. After they had walked silently to his bedroom the night before, Josh grabbed some clothes that Donna could sleep in and after they changed and brushed their teeth, they climbed into bed on opposite sides, neither mentioning the kiss that almost happened.

To some the situation may have been uncomfortable, but whenever Josh and Donna were working late or watching movies, Josh never let her take a cab home, as it was so late, and after several rounds of, "I'll take the couch, you take the bed" in the beginning, it was quickly established that they could easily share his spacious bed.

Usually they stayed on their sides, but this morning was different and it was making Josh a little nervous. Josh had his arms around Donna and she had an arm thrown across his chest and her head on his shoulder and their legs were tangled together. It wasn't the position that was making Josh nervous. He was actually enjoying being so close to her and feeling her body pressed up against his with her protruding tummy pressing into his side. Really, it was the best sleep he'd had in a long time. The problem is he was enjoying it a little too much, and was afraid Donna would wake up and notice that rapidly growing problem.

Josh tried to move out of her embrace as quickly, but as carefully as possible so he didn't wake her. But as he started sliding to the edge of the bed, Donna tightened her grip on him. Josh looked over and saw Donna staring back at him. Not able to say anything, he watched as she slowly moved her hand down to caress him through his boxers. He moaned in response, and Donna started kissing her way down his chest, moving lower and lower when…

Josh woke up. He looked over and saw Donna sleeping soundly on her own side of the bed. With a deep sigh, Josh climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom to take a cold shower.

Josh spent his time in the shower and getting ready contemplating his dream. Why would he dream that? Granted it wasn't the first time he had dreamt about him and Donna in that way. What man wouldn't dream of her? She was a beautiful woman, but Josh thought he had gotten control of his feelings. He thought he was hiding them well enough. But after almost kissing her last night, he was thinking more about what exactly his feelings for her were. He was pretty sure they extended beyond like. But he couldn't really decide if what he felt was love. He had never allowed himself to feel that for a woman before. He couldn't let Donna know that he felt that strongly for her. She had so much on her plate; he didn't need her stressing out because of how he felt.

Meanwhile, Donna woke the moment Josh had left the room. On her mind was the "almost kiss" they shared the night before. She couldn't get out of her head the way he looked at her. She had never really been looked at that way by a man before. She allowed herself to reveal in how it made her feel for a few minutes before putting the cap back on the feelings she had developed for him. It wasn't fair to love him while she was carrying another man's child. He didn't deserve that kind of baggage.

She silently got up, deciding to go back to her hotel room to change and go on into work. Leaving Josh a note, she had called a cab and left before he had even gotten out of the shower.

The next few days passed in a blur. Both Josh and Donna put aside their feelings and worked together as fluidly as ever. When Donna returned from her doctor's appointment a few days later, she was a little nervous to talk to Josh.

Her doctor had thought it would be a good idea for her to take a few Lamaze classes a little earlier than usual, in case any complications should arise. The problem Donna faced was finding a coach. She knew who she wanted; Josh was the only one she really trusted. She was, however, unsure of how it would look to the press or if he even wanted to be a part of this. She spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to ask him.

When it was time for her to go, she decided it was now or never; although when she walked into his office, her nerves got the better of her.

"Josh, is there anything else you need from me today? I'm getting a little tired."

Josh looked up from his report and smiled. "No, go on home, Donna. Get some rest."

"Okay," Donna turned to leave, but didn't actually move towards the door.

"Donna?"

"Yeah?"

"Was there something else?"

She turned around and nervously moved to the chair in front of his desk. "Well, I wanted to ask you something, but I don't know really if it's a good idea or if you'll even want to, and that would be perfectly okay, I'd understand."

After a couple seconds of silence, Josh jumped in. "You didn't actually ask me anything there, Donna." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Well, my doctor wants me to go to some Lamaze classes starting in a couple of weeks and-"

"Wait. Isn't it a little early for that?"

"Yeah. She just wants me to have some classes under my belt in case complications arise or I go into labor early."

Though it wasn't really a big deal, Josh was starting to freak out. "I though you said today went well. What is your doctor expecting to happen?"

"Josh, calm down. It's nothing, really. Just with the history of this pregnancy, she wants me to be prepared for anything. But that's beside the point. The thing is I need a coach. Someone to help me in the delivery room and you are really the only person I trust enough to ask."

"You want me to be your coach?"

"Yes?"

Josh sat there, a stunned look on his face. Donna watched him closely, ultimately deciding that his silence meant he was not interested. She couldn't help but feel upset, although she tried to hide it.

"Never mind, it was a silly idea--"

"Donna--"

"Don't worry about it; I'll find someone else--"

"Donna, I--"

"It was silly. I'm going to go ahead and go."

"Donna, wait."

Donna stopped, looking everywhere but at Josh.

Josh walked around his desk to stand in front of her. "Donna, I am absolutely honored that you would want me to be your coach and yes, it may be tricky with the press but you are my friend. I'm going to be there for you. I want to be there for you and this baby."

"So, you'll come with me?"

"Yes."

Donna couldn't help but hug him. "Thank you so much."

"Donna, I need you to promise me, that you won't be afraid to ask me anything. Ok?"

He could feel her head moving up and down on his shoulder but didn't say anything, so he continued.

"Things may seem awkward at first, but I want to be here for you, and I promise to always be there for you and the baby. Always."

Donna didn't say anything, but he could feel the tears dampening his shirt.

He pulled back slightly, "Why are you crying?"

"That was just the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Josh nervously chuckled at that, "This is one of those pregnancy things right?"

She laughed, "Yeah, I guess so."

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

Please send feedback and any ideas. The good, the bad, or the ugly. Just let me know what you think!

Thank you to my beta Trish! You are awesome!

**AN:** This chapter alternates between past and present. Parts in italics are flashbacks as it clearly states. The present sections are in Josh's POV. Please send feedback! And Enjoy!

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Chapter 7_

_---Two days after the election---_

_Josh's POV_

It has been two days since the election and we are still running at full force, which of course I love. The problem is Donna thought there would be some sort of break before we plunged ahead with the transition. When she found out there wouldn't be any break, she refused to slow down. I wanted her to take time off until the baby came, but she said I was not to be left to "my own devices" – her words. I wonder what she thinks I did before she came along.

However, Donna is Donna and when she puts her mind to something she doesn't step back. Speaking of backs, hers has been bothering her all day, more so as usual. She thinks I don't notice, but I can see how it is affecting her concentration. I asked her to take the day off but she thinks there is too much to do, which is true. There is a lot to do. Even I did not realize there would be this much craziness involved this early in the transition.

I look up, and outside my office, I can see Donna typing away at her desk. She pauses suddenly and there is this look of pain on her face, but as quick as it comes, it leaves her features and she continues with her work. If I didn't know any better, I would think she was having contractions. Nevertheless, it's too early for that and she would tell me if she was. Right? After all, I am her coach and I'm pretty sure that is something you would tell your coach.

She is filing now. She has a huge stack of files in her hands. She pauses again, but I can't see her face. Then I watch as the files drop to the floor and she doubles over in what I can only guess is pain. I am by her side within seconds.

"It's time, isn't it?"

"No, no Josh it's too early."

"Then what's going on Donna?" I am trying to keep my voice even but really, I am starting to get scared. She's right; it's too early. She's not due until January.

"It's probably just Braxton-Hicks, a false alarm."

No sooner are those words out of her mouth when her eyes widen and she looks down. I follow her eyes and notice the wet spot on the floor. Oh god…

"Donna?"

"Okay, we should go to the hospital now. Let me cancel your afternoon." She says it as if nothing just happened. She walks over to her desk and I follow.

"Donna? What just happened?"

"My water broke." She states matter-of-factly.

"Donna?"

"Josh?"

"Donna?! We need to go."

"I need to fix your schedule for the day first."

I look at her as if she has lost her mind and then I see Kathy walking by. "Kathy, I need you to cancel my day and let Sam, CJ, Toby, Leo, everyone know that Donna went into labor and I took her to the hospital."

"But Josh-" Donna starts to protest, but I cut her off with a look.

"Now!"

_----------_

_---Immediately after chapter 6---_

_After Donna left to go home for the evening, Josh made his way to Toby's office. He thought CJ was probably going to be mad that she wasn't his first stop, but Josh felt that maybe Toby would better understand the situation Josh was in. He didn't know why, but he though that CJ might not be able to get past the press reaction to see the human side of the situation. _

_Josh knocked on the door waiting for Toby to respond. He walked into the office closing the door behind him. He made his way over to the visitor's chair and sat, not quite knowing how to start._

_After a few moments of silence, Toby looked up from the report he was reading. "Do you need something Josh?" _

"_Umm, yeah. There's something I need to talk to you about and I realize I should probably be talking to CJ, but I thought you might be able to talk to her, so she doesn't freak out."_

"_What did you do?"_

"_What? I didn't do anything."_

"_Josh I don't have time for guessing games. What's going on?"_

_Josh took a deep breath before beginning his explanation. "Well, Donna asked me to do her a favor tonight and she's my friend so I agreed. She was worried and I'll admit I'm a little worried too about the press reaction, but she's my friend and I am going to do this for her."_

"_When do the Lamaze classes start?"_

_Josh was a little thrown. He didn't pretend to understand Toby, but he didn't think Toby knew about stuff like this._

"_A couple of weeks. Her doctor wants her to start early."_

"_Is everything okay?"_

"_Yeah, it should be. She is just taking extra precautions."_

"_Well, it's going to be tricky but I'll talk to CJ, and we'll figure this out. You just be there for her. She needs a good friend right now."_

_Josh smiled at Toby. He knew that Toby would understand that this was not about the campaign or their jobs. This was about friendship. Even though CJ was a good friend, she sometimes had problems looking at situations without the press secretary-colored glasses. _

"_Thanks Toby. I owe you one." With that, Josh left Toby to his report and decided to take an early night. Maybe he would visit a friend._

_---------_

_---Present Day---_

"Josh, you need to calm down."

"No, I need to know how you are so calm."

"Everything is going to be okay. I just know it." I sneak a look at her as I drive at a relatively high speed. Maybe I should calm down. When I see her face, there is this beautiful smile. She has a wonderful smile. It was one of the first things I noticed that day she hired herself.

I nod slightly, turning back to the road, I slow down to make sure we get there in one piece.

I was surprised that once we got to the hospital I didn't have to fill anything out. Donna informed me that she had pre-registered. The nurse took us to a room and told us Donna's doctor would be along shortly…

"Well, Donna. It looks like this baby is ready to come out."

Donna tries to smile through the contraction that is currently taking place. She's squeezing my hand rather hard. "It feels like it." I respond.

The doctor chuckles, "let's see how far along you are Donna."

"Everything's going to be okay right? I mean it's kind of early." Even with Donna's assurance, I can't help but ask the doctor.

"Well, it's earlier than I would like considering the history of this pregnancy. But it's not too early. And it looks like everything is progressing along nicely. I'll be back in a little bit. Relax, there's a while to go."

I let out the breath I had been holding.

"Calm down Josh. It's going to be okay. I told you that."

"Donna, how can you be so sure?"

She just looks at me with those big, beautiful, blue eyes. "You promised me it would be."

_----------_

_---First Lamaze class- Two and a half months ago---_

"_So, that was Lamaze class. It was rather interesting don't you think? I probably could have lived without the video." Josh commented while sitting behind Donna, watching the other couples make their way out of the room. He grew a little concerned when Donna didn't make any motion to move or respond._

"_Donna?"_

"_I can't."_

"_You can't what? Do you need help getting up? You're not that big yet."_

"_I can't."_

"_Well let me help you." Josh said still thinking she was talking about getting up. When he moved around in front of her, he realized it had nothing to do with that. Sitting there, Donna looked scared. He knelt down in front of her and put his hand under her chin, hoping to establish some eye contact._

"_Donna, honey, look at me." He waited until she did to continue. "You can do this. I know you can, and when it is all done, you are going to be the best mother to this child. I know it looks hard, and I know it will hurt, but you're Donna. You left Dr. Freeride, went to New Hampshire, and helped to get a man elected president. You can do this."_

_Tears started rolling down Donna's cheeks as she thought more and more about giving birth and the video they just saw._

"_I can't do this Josh. Did you see that video? I don't know how to do that and I don't know how to be a mother. I can't."_

"_Donna, you don't have to know how to give birth. It is going to come naturally to you. You will know what to do when that time comes. And being a mother, I have no doubts that you can do it. I promise you Donna, everything will be fine."_

_----------_

_---Present Day---_

Donna has been in labor now for I don't know how long. It seems like we're getting there. Donna has been wanting to push, but they keep telling her to wait a few more minutes. She's been amazing just like I knew she would be. Though, on a number of occasions I have wanted to pass out, and I think my hand is broken. Nevertheless, I've gotten through it and here I am, as Donna's about to give birth.

"Josh?" I'm so focused on all the action that I don't look at her.

"You're doing great Donna; just remember to keep breathing, like we practiced." I go through the breathing motions, probably looking like an idiot.

"No, Josh, something doesn't feel right."

I look at her, and before I can say anything, the machines she is hooked up to start beeping wildly. "Doctor, what's going on?"

"Josh, I need you to wait outside."

I look back over at Donna and see that her eyes are closed.

"Donna? No doctor, I told her I would be here."

"Josh, I can't help her if you are here. You need to leave now."

I can't get anything else out before I am whisked out side by some rather large man-nurse. I don't know what to do. The women I love is lying there and something is wrong. I can't lose her, I just realized what she means to me. When I get to the waiting room, CJ is waiting there. Our friends have been taking turns waiting for news.

"She had the baby?!" CJ jumps up excitedly, but one look at me and she can see something is wrong.

"Josh? What happened?"

"I don't know. She said something didn't feel right and the machines started going off and then I got kicked out of the room." During my explanation, the tears start to fall and CJ wraps her arms around me in a hug.

"It'll be okay, Josh. She'll be okay." I wish I could believe her.

_----------_

_---One Month Before---_

"_Tell me again how we got a Saturday afternoon off this close to the election?" Donna asked from the passenger seat. They were driving back to Josh's place after having found an apartment for Donna that afternoon._

"_I'm not sure; the governor just declared it. I don't think he realizes he's not President yet."_

"_Well, thank you for spending it with me. I really like the place we found." She leaned over and placing a kiss on Josh's cheek._

_Josh was a little flustered. He had been trying to avoid analyzing his feelings for his assistant and friend, but every time she touched him he couldn't help but think that he was in love._

_The night went as he had expected. They ate some take-out, watched a movie and then fell asleep in his bed. But, unlike most nights when they had done this same thing, Josh turned on his side, head resting on his hand and watched as Donna slept. He admitted to himself that night that he was in love. It was the first time he ever felt so strongly for a woman. He also admitted that he loved this child. He couldn't wait to meet it. As he watched Donna, she rolled towards him and let out a sigh. Josh couldn't stop himself from placing a kiss on her lips. Part of him had hoped she would wake up and return the sentiment, but she didn't. He just laid there watching her, content, until he fell asleep, too._

_----------_

_---Present Day---_

I enter the hospital chapel and sit down in the back. I know, I'm Jewish and I don't really go to temple, but for some reason this is where I have to be. I haven't heard anything about Donna. I needed to pray, to talk to God. I figure Christian or Jewish, it's the same God. I look around at the other people sitting there, I briefly wonder why they are here, but that thought brings me back to Donna.

I can't do anything else for her but pray, so silently that's what I begin to do,

"Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe…" I stop there because I don't really know what I am doing. I don't know if there is a formal prayer or blessing for something like this. It's a shame that I let my faith get so far away from me. But there has to be something I can say. Maybe if I just explain how I feel.

"God, I know it only seems like I pray to you when I need something. But I need something now. I need for Donna and her baby to be okay. I don't know what I can offer you or what I can say here but I know that I won't be okay if something happens to either one of them. Donna, she's never done anything wrong. She is a good person and she won't be okay if something happens to her child. I won't be okay if something happens to her or this child. I promise you lord, if you let them live and be okay, I'll try harder to be a better person. I'll do anything for them and I'll keep them safe. Please, just let me have that chance."

I just sit there afterwards, I don't know for how long, before I get up and return to the waiting room.

----------

_---Three months ago---_

"_Josh?" Donna called from her desk but quickly getting up and moving into his office._

_She wasn't sure at first. It was like a flutter in her stomach, but then she felt it again, only a little stronger. She realized it was the baby kicking and got so excited. Her first thought was to share it with Josh. As she entered his office, he was about to hurry out to her._

"_Donna? What's wrong?" He said, worry in his eyes._

"_Nothing. Give me your hand."_

"_Are you asking me to marry you Donna because I think that it should be done properly, with a ring and you down on one knee."_

"_Okay, I need you to stop being you and give me your hand." She laughed_

_He smiled at her and did as she asked. Donna took his had and laid it on the lower part of her belly where she was feeling the movement. The baby kicked again under his hand and Josh jumped back._

"_Woah! What was that?"_

_Donna smiled at him. "It was the baby, Josh. The baby kicked."_

_Josh was instantly enthralled and placed both hands back on her belly. "Is this the first time?"_

"_Yeah. The first time I have felt it at least."_

"_Wow." Josh said and Donna could see that he was already bonding with her child._

"_Yeah."_

_----------_

_---Present Day---_

I'm only in the waiting room a few minutes, alone, when the doctor comes in. I can feel myself getting more and more nervous. It's been a long time. That could mean that there were a lot of complications. What if Donna is not okay? What if the baby didn't make it?

"Josh?"

"Yes Doctor?"

"The baby is fine." I release the breath that I was holding. Thank you, God.

"And Donna?"

"Well, there were unforeseen complications and she lost a lot of blood. We were able to control it and she is stabilized and should be awake shortly. She's going to be perfectly fine. We however are not able to tell how the complications may further affect her reproductive options."

"What does that mean?"

"It's unlikely, Josh, that she will be able to have anymore children."

She's can't have more children? I don't know how Donna is going to feel about that. But the baby is good and Donna will be okay. Right? "So, Donna is going to be okay?"

"Yes, Josh she should be a hundred percent in a couple of days." Thank you, God.

"Thank you Doctor."

"I'll leave you be, but I'll come back in about an hour. You should be able to see Donna and the baby then."

----------

_---Election Day---_

_It had been a hectic day. Josh and Donna were running around trying to take care of last minute interviews, and trying to get lawyers in the right states and updating all the numbers._

_It was late in the evening. They were in the middle of analyzing numbers when Donna interrupted Josh._

"_Josh? Tell me everything is going to be okay."_

"_Donna, do you see these numbers! We're going to win this and you and I will be working in the White House."_

"_No, Josh. With the baby. Tell me everything is going to be okay with the baby."_

_Josh was a little thrown. He thought she had gotten over this fear with that first Lamaze class. He moved around his desk next to her and pulled her into a hug._

"_Everything is going to be fine. This baby and you are going to be perfect. I know it."_

_They stayed in their embrace even as the people outside his office erupted into cheers as Governor Bartlet was declared the next President of the United States._

_----------_

_---Present Day---_

I quietly walk into the room. The doctor had come to get me and said that I could go see Donna now. When I open the door, my heart swells with the sight that is in front of me. Donna is sitting up with her child in her arms. So lost in its eyes, she doesn't even notice me until I sit next to her on the bed. I put my arm around her and lean over her shoulder.

"She's beautiful."

"Katherine." Donna says quietly, "Katherine Marie."

I can't help thinking 'Katherine Marie Lyman,' before I have to remind myself that she is not mine. That thought causes a pain in my chest.

"Katherine Marie Moss." Donna repeats a little louder.

I look up from Katherine to her mom, who even after everything looks beautiful and happy. "It's perfect."

**_TBC_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Lot's of thanks to my beta Trish!**

**Please send feedback; let me know if I should continue!**

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**Chapter 8**

_Early February _

JOSH'S POV

On my way back from the hill, I can't help thinking I will never grow tired of smacking down congressmen. I know I have only been in this job for a couple of weeks now, but there is nothing like the adrenaline rush that comes with getting your way when in a room of Republicans. I'm rushing back to the bullpen; I can't wait to tell Donna all about my success tonight. I round the corner to find her at her desk with her head down. I move closer and notice that she's asleep. It's only then that I also notice it's after midnight.

This needs to stop. She has a new baby at home. The most beautiful baby I have ever seen, which isn't that extraordinary, considering her mother is the most beautiful women I have ever seen. The nicest, sweetest women, who is currently sleeping at her desk, because her asshole of a boss kept her here late. She's been here late every night this week. I need to be more considerate of the fact that she is just starting to be able to sleep throughout the night.

I move closer to her, laying a hand on her back and lightly rubbing it until she wakes.

"Josh," she says groggily. She then realizes that she fell asleep and bolts upright causing me to lose contact with her.

"I'm so sorry Josh. I was just going to rest my eyes, and I must have fallen asleep."

"Donna, stop. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I shouldn't have kept you late. I need to remember that you have Kat now and shouldn't be working so late."

"No, Josh. It's okay. It's just that Kat had a rough night last night and I didn't get much sleep. It's okay, really. I like working with you at night." She's trying to placate me. I know it. I'm sure she would rather be at home with her new daughter than working with me.

"Well, nevertheless, I am going to make sure you get to go home early every night, by 7 at the latest. No more staying until 10 or 11 for you," I say moving to my office not wanting her to see how hard it is for me to know she won't be here every night.

I'm surprised when I hear her yell out "No." I turn around slowly and move back towards her, a little confused by her reaction.

"I though you would jump at the chance to go home early every night, pick Kat up from your neighbors and have more time to spend with her. Don't you want to spend more time with her?"

"Of course I do Josh, but I don't want to lose time with you." She blurts out. Her eyes widen as she realizes what she's said. For my part, I can only stand there in shock. Could it be possible that she feels the same way? That she loves me as much as I love her?

DONNA'S POV

Oh crap. Please tell me I did not just say that. I wish I could pretend that I hadn't said it, but looking at Josh he took it just the way I meant it. I've been so careful about showing my feelings, or rather not showing my feelings. It's just that tonight I am so tired and unable to really think. I haven't gotten much sleep this past week; really these past three months. Kat is most definitely a night person. Up almost all throughout the night. But maybe I can backtrack this. I can't let Josh know how I feel. He can't know.

"I just mean, there is so much to do. I can't lose time here with all the work that needs to be done. Being in the first hundred days, you've said so yourself, there is a lot to do and I just want to be sure there is time to…get it done." I trail off at the end. Yes, I know I was babbling. It doesn't look like Josh was convinced either.

"Donna, lets go into my office." I hesitantly follow. He has me enter first and I watch as he shuts and locks the door, which confuses me a little. The look in Josh's eyes doesn't help. He almost looks happy and hopeful. Is it possible that he could feel...

I'm not able to finish my thought because the next thing I know, Josh's lips are on mine and he's kissing me with a passion I've never felt before. I melt into the kiss opening my mouth to his insistent tongue. He has one arm around my waist and a hand on the back of my head pulling me close. I moan as my body gets pulled into his.

I move both of my arms around his neck pulling him closer until my sleep-deprived brain remembers who I am. I'm a mother. I have a baby at home. A baby that is not Josh's. This isn't right; I shouldn't be placing him into this position. It's not fair. I push him away, backing up.

He looks very confused. And I don't know what to say.

"Donna?"

"Josh, we can't do this. I'm your assistant."

"Donna, sweetheart, we'll work it out. It'll all be okay."

"No, Josh-" I try to stop this, but he cuts me off.

"Donna, I love you. I love you and I won't pretend anymore. I don't want to pretend anymore."

Oh my God. He loves me. My heart is soaring right now, but my brain is protesting. I have to do what is right. I don't want to hurt him, but I can't rope him into this responsibility.

"No you don't, Josh." He tries to protest but I cut him off. "You only think you love me because of everything we have gone through this past year together. But Josh, you can't love me. I have a baby and I can't have anymore and that isn't fair to you. You're just confused. But don't worry. I will forget this ever happened and we can just go back to how things were before. Now, if you don't mind I'm going to go home. I will see you in the morning. Be sure to get some sleep." With that, I do one of the hardest things I have ever done and walk out of his office, grab my stuff and move through the bullpen before he can even respond.

JOSH POV

She's gone before I can say anything else. How could she leave? How could she say that? I do love her, and I know she feels something. It was there in that kiss. The amazing kiss that felt more electric than I ever could have imagined.

I don't understand what just happened. I've never been good with women. I've never been able to figure out what you do after you figure out you like someone. But I thought I read this right. Why is she pushing me away? Why won't she let me in? I find myself moving towards Sam's office. I know he is still here and maybe he can help me make sense of all this.

I knock on his door. "Sam, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, buddy, what's going on?"

"I kissed Donna." I might as well go straight to the point.

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was pretty wow, but then she pushed me away and said that we couldn't do this and when I told her I loved her-"

"Whoa! You love her?"

"Yes, I do. Anyways-"

"How could you not tell me Josh? This is huge. I didn't even know that you liked her. I thought it was like Kathy and me. That she was like your little sister."

"Sam please, can we concentrate on the point of my story. Yes, I love her and I am sorry that I didn't tell you, but I need to figure out what happened. After I told her I loved her, she just pushed me away and told me that I couldn't love her because she had a baby and that I was confused and she would forget all about it. I don't understand what happened."

We sit in silence for a few minutes and I can see Sam thinking through what I just told him.

"Do you think she feels the same way?"

"I do. It was there in our kiss. Sam, she feels something for me, I know it. Why would she deny it?"

"Maybe she is afraid of getting hurt."

Why would she think that I would hurt her? "What do you mean?"

"Well, her last relationship was with Michael and he hurt her, twice. And now she has Kat and she is probably worried that if it doesn't work out with you two, not only will she get hurt, but Kat will suffer too."

"But Sam, I know this would work. I've never felt this way before. She's the one Sam."

"Wow that was girly."

"Sam!"

"Sorry." He pauses for a moment, and I'm beginning to regret coming to him. "You need to show her that you are here for the long run."

"How?"

"You need to woo her. You need to-"

"'Woo?' And you say I sound girly?" I smirk.

"Josh! You need to show her that you will always be there. She needs to learn that it is okay to depend on you; that you won't run if things get tough. Josh, take this slow. Let her learn to trust; let her set the pace. Don't push a romantic relationship on her. Just continue to be her friend."

I think about it for a minute before deciding that Sam is right. If this is going to last like I think it is, there is no reason to rush things. I'll 'woo' her. I'll make her understand how much I love her. I'll let her decide when we are ready.

"Thanks, Sam."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you to Trish! My awesome beta!

**AN: **Please review and feel free to send ideas and suggestions. I can't guarantee I'll use them all, but I would love to hear your thoughts! I have a general outline for this story, but the next couple of chapters are a little fuzzy for me right now; I hope to get them done soon.

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Donna was trying to decide if she wanted to cry or scream or do both. She'd been having trouble making ends meet and she was counting on him to do the right thing.

It happened as she was coming back from her extended lunch with her daughter; one of her favorite things everyday. She would pick Kat up from the OEOB daycare and walk her over to the mall where they would sit out on the grass and Donna would feed her. It was something she started doing as soon as they got in the White House. During the transition, she would bring Kat to work with her, where everyone would fawn all over her. After the inauguration, that wasn't a possibility anymore so Josh would let Donna take an extended lunch. He would also give her an hour off every night so that Donna could pick up Kat and get some dinner. Donna would usually go back to work for a few hours but would leave Kat with her neighbor Mrs. White, an older woman who reminded Donna of her own grandmother. Since that night a few weeks ago, she hadn't been coming back after dinner. Josh let her take home some stuff to work on instead. Their relationship had been strained since that night, but she couldn't think about that right now. She had too much on her mind.

On her way back from lunch, she had gotten another call from Michael. She had called him to ask him about the child support that he promised to give her, but now he was refusing that. He called to tell her that he didn't believe he was Kat's father and that he wouldn't pay anything. Donna couldn't believe that he would do this to her. He had never been spiteful but he was still upset that she left the second time and refused to give her any support like he had promised when she first told him she was pregnant.

Now she had to go to Josh, and ask him for a raise. It was the only way she could do this. She needed more income so that she could hire a lawyer and get Michael to do the right thing. It was either this or get a second job, and that wasn't really an option. She stood outside Josh's door afraid to go in. She watched him work, concentrating on a report. She could still remember his lips on hers and his weight pressed against her and she wanted nothing more than to give into those feelings but she refused to ruin Josh's life. A relationship between them would ruin Josh's career and she couldn't push him into the role of Kat's father.

"Josh?" She asked quietly.

He looked up a little surprised, "you're back late. Everything okay with Katherine?"

"Yeah she's fine," Donna assured him. "It's just I got this call after I dropped her off and that's sort of why I'm here."

"You need something?"

"Yeah," Donna hesitated, "I need a raise, Josh."

Josh sighed and looked down. "We discussed this before Donna; I can't get you a raise. We've only been in office for about three months. It's six months before a raise can be considered."

"But, there has to be some way around that, Josh. Please, you don't understand, I need a raise."

Josh looked up at Donna and noticed how upset she looked. He quickly stood and walked around to her. "Donna, what's wrong?"

"Michael called."

"Michael? Why was he calling you?"

"He was calling me back actually; I had called him about the child support he had promised me. I'm having a hard time taking care of all my bills and was counting on that extra income, but he's now saying he never told me he would help and that he doesn't believe Katherine is actually his daughter. I need to get a lawyer now and pay my rent. I need that extra money, Josh. Isn't there something you could do?" She begged.

Josh looked at her for a moment wishing, not for the first time, that he could hurt Dr. Freeride. He sighed in defeat. "Donna, I've tried. I've tried to get you a raise. You deserve more for all the work you do, but they won't consider it until six months."

"Okay. Thanks for trying Josh. I appreciate it." She turned to leave when Josh though of something.

"You know, I went to law school. This wasn't my area, but I took a couple family law classes. I could be your lawyer. I come cheap too, only one dollar for my services."

Donna smiled but shook her head. "I couldn't ask you to do that, Josh, but thanks."

"You didn't ask me, I offered. You do so much for me, Donna. Let me return the favor."

Donna was silent for a long moment before she spoke. "Okay. Thanks Josh."

"You're welcome." Donna turned and went back to her desk continuing with her work, feeling better about things.

Josh went back to his report before thinking about what he offered. He couldn't be her lawyer. It wouldn't work. As much as he wanted to help her, he was too close to the situation. There were too many conflicts of interest. He hung his head in defeat. He gave her some hope, said he would help and now he'd have to back out. This was not a good first step in showing her that he was dependable. He had to come up with something.

As he thought about it, Sam kept coming to mind. He was far enough away from the situation but at the same time was someone that Donna trusted.

He smiled at Donna as he left his office. "I'm just going to see Sam, if anyone needs me." He said as he walked down the hall.

"Sam, you have a minute," He said while walking into Sam's office.

"What's another word for determination to use in this speech?" Sam asked not looking up from his notepad.

"Resolve?"

"Maybe…"

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"Is it about Donna?"

"Yes."

"Did you kiss Donna again?"

"No, Sam. I just need your help."

"Okay, what can I do?" Sam asked. Josh began the story, telling Sam about what Michael had promised and what he was now saying. He told him about how Donna was having money troubles and how she needed a lawyer. He told Sam about how he had volunteered his services but then realized he was too close to it all and that he wanted Donna to be able to depend on him. Finally, he asked Sam if he would represent Donna.

Sam agreed readily. He saw Donna as a younger sister and wanted to help her in anyway he could. Josh offered his thanks and left for a meeting.

Later in the day Sam stopped by Donna's desk.

"Hey Donna. Are you leaving soon?" Sam asked noticing that it was almost six.

"Yeah, I'm just packing up some work to take home with me."

"That's great. Give Kat a kiss for me."

Donna smiled at him; glad that her friends cared so much for her daughter. "Sure."

"I was wondering if we could find a time to chat?"

"You want me to find time for you to meet with Josh?" Donna asked confused as to why Sam would want to schedule time.

"No with you, about Michael. I want to plan out your case and talk to you about options."

"You want to…" Donna trailed off, confused. Josh wouldn't have told Sam,right? Josh wouldn't have betrayed her, right?

"Josh didn't tell you, did he?" It was more of a statement. Sam knew the answer by her reactions.

"Didn't tell me what?" She asked trying not to be angry with Sam. This wasn't his fault.

"That he asked me to be your lawyer since he realized that he was too close to the case?"

"No, he didn't tell me that. If he felt he was too close to the situation why didn't he just say something? I can't believe he told you?!"

"Donna, calm down. He thought he was helping."

"But-"

"Donna, I don't think any less of you," he said, understanding why she was getting upset. "You're my friend; I want to be able to help you and Josh really did think he was doing the right thing. He wanted you to know that you could depend on him."

Donna nodded. "Okay, but promise me you won't tell anyone else. Please? I just don't want anyone to know how foolish I was to go back to him."

"I'll never say a word. Lawyer-Client confidentiality and all," he said seriously.

"Thanks, Sam."

"You're welcome," Sam responded as he noticed Josh coming down the hall. "Please don't be angry with him Donna. He had good intentions."

"I won't." Sam smiled and left the bullpen, saying 'hi' to Josh on his way out.

"Hey, Donna. Ready to call it a night?"

"Yeah, I was just packing up."

"Great. I need to talk to you about something before you leave."

"You mean about how you asked Sam to be my lawyer and told him all about my situation."

Josh froze, cursing himself for not going to her right away. "I'm sorry Donna, I just realized that after I told you I would be your lawyer, that I couldn't and I thought Sam would be a good substitute. I was going to talk to you about it."

Donna sighed, "I know, Josh. I just don't want everyone to know about Michael and my stupidity. I know you were only trying to help. But please, can we not tell anyone else?"

"Of course. I'm sorry."

Donna paused, "It's okay. Thanks for helping," she said as she placed a kiss on him cheek. "I'm going to head out."

"Okay. Give Kat a goodnight kiss for me."

Donna smiled, "I will. Goodnight, Josh."

**TBC…**


End file.
